And woah...i found this again..unbelievable...its been ages...so many emo shits...that was me last time..and i'm here again to pour some stuffs again to kill my boredom...life isn't as fun as last time...being in poly is an honour but still i guess the suffering still lives...but at a greater scale...social life? Its more to bullshit than ever...but there's still good people around...like my dad used to say, having no friends is sometimes better than having one which destroys your life...true that dad...love life? Well...i don't know what is exactly happening...for some reasons its going up and down...never stable...well you...honestly speaking, i'm into you head over heels...but there's always that jealousy in me that never dies...i want you badly...i can't really express that feelings towards you or write it down anywhere...but i just know that deep down i love you that much...somehow i wish you could change as well...i'm willing to put your past behind...let it be the past...but i'm just plain jealous...i know you're close with guys and all...i can't stop you because its your life...i'm just a friend to you...but each time you go out, or ride with another guy, i just can't help myself having that jealous feeling...i know i should be stopping all that because i'm not your boyfriend...but still...it reminds me of my past and your past...i always get flashbacks or random thoughts you see...its not that i want to but it always happen...i just want to have you...i'm very sincere about my feelings...i want you to be by my side...not to be bothered by any other guys...of course its selfish of me...but i know its how i can take care of you...i know you've been hurt alot...and i wanna stop that...you're like the sweetest i have now and somewhat the only person i have left thats close to my heart apart from my family...somehow you've just turned into someone very precious to me...someone who i wanna keep for life...i want you but i want you to change...i might not be that handsome, good looking, charming, rich or whatever descriptions on your boyfriend-have-to-be list...but i have a heart...thats always ready to love you, take care of you with all that i have...and i hope you would do the same to me...i'm trying my best to not be jealous...and i've not been quitting halfway and letting you go...i've come so far...and i'm still trying...baby, i love you...